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March 31, 2003 // UPDATED 9:31 am - April 30, 2007
By: 39;Stupid, pointless' restaurant opens in North Loop
39;Stupid, pointless' restaurant opens in North Loop

Bewildering friends who thought he had good business sense, entrepreneur Tim Smith opened what he admits is "another stupid, pointless martini bar" in Downtown's North Loop neighborhood April 1.

"I know there are, like, 50 of them already," admitted Smith, whose previous venture, "One More Needless Day Spa," failed miserably in Downtown last year.

"I admit we really haven't found a good way to set ourselves apart," Smith said. "There'll be the same shiny surfaces and cool aquamarine lighting you see everywhere else. And just like the other guys, we'll serve our booze in glasses so big they'll look like dunce caps turned over."

Asked why he decided to open a bar with little hope of success, Smith said, "They said in the '80s that cocaine was God's way of telling you that you had too much money. I guess gin mills serve that purpose now."

This fictional story is part of April Fools Week!