No use trying
Is it too much to expect that someone from the same music community that brought us "fer shizzly" and "check yourself before you wreck yourself" and other such incredibly culturally invasive phrases could come up with a word that rhymes with "orange?"
I keep seeing that damned M&M commercial where this lady complains that "nothing rhymes with orange," and every time I see that commercial, I think , "C'mon, Snoop Dogg, there's a blank space in Webster's just waiting for you!"
So this is my open challenge to everyone in the music community, hip-hop or otherwise: make me happy and end this "nothing rhymes with orange" conflict! It's driving me crazy, and there are enough things out there already to drive me crazy, like meandering PTA meetings and Frito casserole at church potlucks.
On the bright side, however, it seems to me that I myself have never come up with an original idea in my life - my crazes come to me like alien mind-control experiments over large population areas, like when I suddenly feel like going out and getting ice cream at 2 a.m. and find the grocery lines packed with people getting the exact same flavor of ice cream as I am.
So this sudden, overwhelming desire to have there be a word that rhymes with "orange" is probably just as overwhelmingly shared by the rest of the world outside of my head, and, quite possibly, by the bands coming through town on the Lean Back America Tour, featuring some of the great rising stars of the hip-hop world today.
Slated to appear on the Target Center stage are Latino rapper Fat Joe (a.k.a. Fat Joe da Gangsta, Joey Crack, and, if you were to ask his mother, Joe Cartagena); Lil Wayne, the youngest member of Hot Boy (who penned such grade-A material as "Back That Azz Up" and "Bling Bling"); and the Atlanta-based duo of Kaine and D-Roc, otherwise known as the Ying Yang Twins.
Tuesday, Jan. 25, 7:30 p.m. Target Center, 600 1st Ave. $51.25. 651-989-5151, www.targetcenter.com.
In the past, Dosh played drums, piano, distorted microphones and noise for a handful of Minneapolis groups, including Andrew Broder's band, Fog. These days, he's out there doing it all on his own.
He's got a handful of well-received solo records under his belt; the most recent is "Pure Trash" (Anticon Records). Live, the man is apparently quite something to see. According to my husband, he plays the keyboard with one hand, drums with another, and manages to shake a variety of baby toys (courtesy of his own baby, I'd imagine) and other objects all at once, simultaneously running them through a computer loop to create some really crazy and inspired live sets.
Friday, Jan. 28, 8 p.m. 7th Street Entry, 701 1st Ave. $6. 332-1775, www.first-avenue.com.
The big buzz
Local legends the Gear Daddies will play two reunion shows in January at the Fine Line in Minneapolis. Fronted by Martin Zellar, the Gear Daddies were showered with rave reviews when they first hit the scene in the 1980s, most of them focusing on the fierce integrity of Zellar's songwriting and his ability to portray the underside of small-town life in razor-sharp detail.
Zellar's trademark ability to depict small-town teenage life produced songs that explored both the agonies and joys of being young and nowhere, full of quiet desperation and rage. It's nice to see that despite the tragedy depicted in much of their music, the Gear Daddies themselves have managed to make it this long - long enough to come back together and play for their loyal, local following.
Friday and Saturday, Jan. 28 and 29, 8 p.m. Fine Line Music Cafe, 318 1st Ave. N. $28-$28. 335-8181, www.finelinemusic.com.