"Tony n' Tina's Wedding," the long-running production at the Hey City Theatre, 824 Hennepin Ave. ends Saturday, Feb. 14. Tony Nunzio (Michael Egan) and Tina Vitale (George Keller) spoke with Skyway News about the highs and lows of committing to each other over 2,000 times in seven years.
Is this all just an excuse to throw a party?
Tony: Actually, the problem is that the best man keeps forgetting to sign the papers -- he's got short-term memory loss. But we get tons of free [stuff], too; we've got stacks and rooms full of stuff.
Tina: We donate a lot of it. We have to. Lots of the stuff comes from Goodwill anyways, so we just bring it right back.
Do you have any clothes, besides the tux and gown?
Tina: Well, that's kind of personal, ain't it? I mean I have undergarments, if that's what you're talking about. Tony is sort of a boxer/briefs kind of person.
Tony: But I don't understand boxers, they got that hole in the front and there's never enough tension to y'know . . . Not that Tina has ever seen me naked, not if her mother is reading this.
Tina: He has never seen me naked, Ma.
Tony: Not on purpose, anyways.
Has anyone ever gotten out of line at the reception?
Tina: Several times. There's my, well, I call her my sister/cousin, she's a nun. . . . she likes "the juice." I don't know if we really want to get into it. When she gets the juice, it's like that Madonna song, "Like a Virgin," but not like a virgin, more like a tramp.
Tony: We've had people having sexual relations in the bathroom, I've had my junk grabbed more times than Rod Stewart --
Tina: We had a guest take her nylons off and put them on her head as she danced on a table--
Tony: Sleazy women...
Okay, we get the idea. What do you two have in mind for the honeymoon?
Tony: Yeah, I gotta take care of a thing.